'Mark in Time' - Paper Edit

After having watched the documentary 'Mark in Time,' we were required to make a paper edit on the things we would change about it. On the whole I was quite pleased with the film and so the changes made are quite minor. Below is a list of what I thought would improve it:

• 1min : 47secs John is introducing himself. I like the use of the close up of the phone, and also the following long shot of him. However, I would hold on to this shot for a while rather than cutting to different angles of him because I don't feel the rhythm is right.
• 2:00 - I would then probably cut to a close up of his face to give it some emphasis just as he says "I just thought you could make one about me."
• 5:50 - cut out the beginning of the shot with the clapper board as I don't think this is necessary in the film. This happens on numerous occasions.
  
• 7:42 - Cut a couple of seconds off the beginning of the shot where he asks if the sound is on.
• 9:15 - Cut out the unnecessary shot of the woman.
  
• 14:47 - 15:00 - This is a shot of another man wearing a mask, but I would cut this out completely because the next part he explains about the mask and why he wears it, therefore it would make more sense if the shot wasn't used.