After the feedback session I went on to improve my edit. Below is a screenshot of my progress so far:

Here I split up the audio of the narration a lot more to give time for the characters to interact with what each other had said. It has given it a much better rhythem now and I think it is very much an improvement.

This is an example of how I tried to improve the rhythm of it by including more reaction shots of the narrator, which is used in response to the cannibal, but also when the narrator is speaking.

I even managed to use the shot of the narrator grasping the newspaper. This is used in the part where the cannibal is talking about eating him, and thus the narrator grasps it anxiously. I think it works well and keeps the continuity well with shots further on.

There was also this part where the character in this shot walks in to the carriage to ask for a light. At first I had it with the narration over the top which really didn't work. Now however, I have it without narration and it is cut with a shot of the narrator which works 100% better.